Honouring Our Roots, Choosing What We Carry: A Prayer of Gratitude to Our Ancestors

Every family holds stories that shape the way we love and react. Scientific research links knowledge of family history to wellbeing, and shows that recognising these influences does not oblige us to repeat them. We share a prayer of gratitude to our ancestors as an invitation to reflection.

What if honouring our roots also meant choosing what we want to take with us? 🌿

Every family holds stories. Some are told at the table, among old photographs and shared memories. Others remain silent, hidden in losses, conflicts, fears or words that were never spoken.

Stories That Cross Generations

We grow up connected to a story that began before us. And, at times, we carry with us ways of loving, reacting, facing fear and relating to others that we learnt long before we became aware of them.

Scientific research has explored how family experiences, parenting behaviours and narratives passed down between generations may influence emotional development and relationships (Elias & Brown, 2022; Jami et al., 2021). In this field, the literature associates knowledge of family history with greater psychological wellbeing (Elias & Brown, 2022) and identifies environmental pathways, such as parenting behaviours, through which certain parental characteristics relate to children's mental health, even after genetic effects have been taken into account (Jami et al., 2021).

Recognising Without Blaming

Recognising these influences does not mean looking for culprits, erasing the past or carrying responsibilities that are not ours. It means making space to understand, to be grateful for what has strengthened us and to question what we no longer wish to perpetuate.

It is worth stressing that these are associations, not an inevitable destiny: the same studies show that these patterns result from multiple factors and that this remains a developing field of research (Elias & Brown, 2022; Jami et al., 2021).

A Prayer of Gratitude to Our Ancestors

Below, we share a prayer of gratitude to our ancestors, attributed to Bert Hellinger, as an invitation to introspection, inner reconciliation and an appreciation of the roots that are part of our story.

Gratitude, dear parents, grandparents and all other ancestors, for having woven my path; immense gratitude for the immensity of your dreams, which, in some way, are my reality today. From this point on, and with much love, I shed light on the sadness that existed in past generations; I shed light on the anger, the premature departures, the unspoken names, the tragic fates. I shed light on the arrow that cut new paths and made the road easier for us. I shed light on the joy, on the stories told again and again. I shed light on what was left unsaid and on family secrets. I shed light on the stories of violence and rupture between couples, between parents and children and between siblings, and may time and love bring them together again. I shed light on all memories of limitation and poverty, and on all the destabilising and negative beliefs that permeate my family system. Here and now I sow new hope, joy, unity, prosperity, devotion, balance, daring, faith, strength, resilience, love, love and love. May all past and future generations be covered, now, at this very moment, with a rainbow of lights that heal and restore the body, the soul and all relationships. May the strength and the blessing of each generation always reach and flow over into the next generation. So be it. So it is.

This prayer is a symbolic and reflective practice. The research cited focuses on the transmission of narratives and behaviours within families and does not evaluate this particular prayer. This content is informative in nature and does not replace clinical or psychotherapeutic care.

A Reflection to Take With You

May we look back with respect, live the present with awareness and build a future in which love does not have to repeat the same pains.

Because not everything we receive has to continue. And not everything that ends loses its value. 🤍

🌿 Which legacy from your family would you like to preserve, and which pattern would you like to transform? If you feel comfortable, share your reflection in the comments.

Scientific References

Elias, A., & Brown, A. D. (2022). The role of intergenerational family stories in mental health and wellbeing. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, Article 927795. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.927795

Jami, E. S., Hammerschlag, A. R., Bartels, M., & Middeldorp, C. M. (2021). Parental characteristics and offspring mental health and related outcomes: A systematic review of genetically informative literature. Translational Psychiatry, 11, Article 197. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-021-01300-2

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